How to Choose your Wedding Party

Once you’re engaged, it’s exciting to share the news with everyone you know. In the glow of romance you can easily make rash decisions. A common mistake is to choose your wedding party too early. It’s hard to take back a request to be a bridesmaid after you realize you’ve just gushed the news and blurted to too many friends, ‘you just have to be in my wedding party.’

Select your bridal party only after you have set a wedding date, reserved a reception site and firmed up your guest list. It’s completely up to you how many attendants you have, but if you have a fairly small wedding, it could look a little incongruous to have a bridal party of 12 and a guest list of 80. A good gauge to go by is one usher per 50 guests.

Just because you were asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding doesn’t mean she has to be in yours. There are so many factors that should be considered. This is a big responsibility, so consider their circumstances. It can be a $250-$500 commitment to be in a wedding party. Be sure they are aware of your expectations, before they say yes. Let them know if you expect them to buy their own clothing, give a speech, or throw a party. It can be a strain on the relationship if you have an expectation that they are either unaware of or unwilling to fulfill. If you still want to ask someone you know can’t afford it, offer to help them with the costs.

If you have a lot of close friends and family you think should be in your wedding party but don’t want that large of a group, give them other responsibilities. If you have a very close friend from out of town that wouldn’t be able to fulfill a lot of expected duties ahead of time, ask them to do a reading, or make a rehearsal dinner toast so they still feel included.

These days tradition has become a lot more flexible. It really doesn’t matter if you have an uneven tally of bridesmaids and groomsmen. An usher can escort a bridesmaid on either arm and be entirely acceptable. A bride’s best friend may be a man or a groom’s best friend a woman. The bottom line is to choose the people that are closest to you and you know are going to be happy to help.

Maid in bridesmaid, should be less about marital status and more about serviceability. Just keep perspective. Although your wedding is the most important thing in your life right now, it is not necessarily the most important thing to them. Don’t become ‘Bridezilla’ and remind yourself “they’re my bridesmaids, not my servants.”

Your wedding party are there to love and support you and make sure you stay relaxed and have fun. If you take your time choosing, and communicate clearly with them, you are sure to create wonderful memories together that you can reminisce over for many years to come.

Article by Magna Goerke "The DIY Wedding Expert"