Guest List Tips for Your Wedding

Assembling the guest list for you wedding can be a very stressful activity. You have to combine not just the list of people you know, but also your parents, your fiancé and his parents. Whoever is hosting the wedding generally will have the final say as they are the ones providing the finances.

If you are a traditional bride, you’ll want to invite everyone you know and have ever known. It’s important, although not romantic, to recognize there is a cost attached to each guest. For an affordable wedding you’re looking at $25-50 per person.

Start by handwriting your list, but put it in a spreadsheet as soon as possible. An electronic list will save you hours of time and provide a huge amount of flexibility. Once it is electronic you can not only email it around to the deciding parties that may not all be local to you, but you can sort it in so many useful ways. You can use it to figure out assigned seating and keep track of details like what gift you received so you can send a meaningful and specific thank you note. You can even use it to mailmerge creative labels and save hours of handwriting on envelopes.

As you are preparing your list, keep in mind that there is usually 10-20% attrition rate of guests invited to actual attending. One of the most common mistakes is inviting too many guests. It can be an emotional and difficult task to pare down the list.

• Choose your battles. Be firm but give in if it’s a small issue and emotions are running high. It’s better to be on good terms with parents.

• Be fair. Try to give both sides of the family equal representation. Unless of course you are having more than one reception because families are so far apart, then you’ll have higher concentrations in each city.

Don’t include “and guest”. If a guest is single with no significant other, tell them that space is tight and not to bring a guest.

• If you don’t hang out with your co-workers outside of the office, don’t include them. It’s nice to invite your boss and assistant if you can though.

• If you’re not inviting children, be consistent. Have a guideline like no one under 18 or only nieces and nephews or something along those lines to be fair.

• Avoid chain-gangs. If inviting one person compels you to add 6 others by association, you should not invite them. i.e. a second cousin, then have to invite all 2nd cousins.

• Stagger the invitations. As a last resort you can, if you send out your invitations early enough, send out to a second list once you receive some regrets. Be careful not to let them suspect they are on the B list though.

If you have a smaller guest list you may be able to get into a smaller, less expensive venue and splurge a little on the details. It’s a difficult task, but try to keep perspective on what your wedding is actually for and it will help you as you decide who you want to share that incredibly significant commitment you make to each other.

Article by Magna Goerke "The DIY Wedding Expert"